Decoding Attachment Styles
Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it.
I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse.
But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients.
This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships.
In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant.
We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now.
We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries.
- Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.
- Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt.
This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful.
If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place.
Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit.
Decoding Attachment Styles
Why Your Avoidant Partner Wants the Relationship But Hates the Label
Imagine craving the warmth of a campfire. You love the light, the comfort, the shared stories. You want to be close enough to feel its heat. But the moment someone says, "Here, tie this rope around your waist and anchor yourself to this log right next to the flames," you panic.
The very thing that offered comfort suddenly feels like a trap. The fire hasn't changed; the constraint has.
This is the daily reality for many with an avoidant attachment style when they hear the word "commitment." It’s not the shared future, the inside jokes, or the quiet companionship they fear. In fact, they often deeply desire those things. What triggers their alarm system is the label itself. "Commitment" sounds like a contract, a loss of self, a final closing of doors. It translates in their mind to obligation, expectation, and the slow erosion of their most cherished value: autonomy.
On this podcast, we're not going to villainize the avoidant or patronize the partner who wants security. We're going to climb inside this paradox. We’ll explore why the same person who plans a vacation with you six months from now can freeze up when you call them your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." It’s a confusing cha-cha on the intimacy-autonomy seesaw, and understanding that this is cha-cha and not a waltz is the first step to changing the dance entirely.