Decoding Attachment Styles
Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it.
I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse.
But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients.
This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships.
In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant.
We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now.
We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries.
- Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.
- Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt.
This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful.
If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place.
Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit.
Episodes
96 episodes
What To Look For When Dating An Anxious Attached
You may have been dating and anxious attached and they seem put together. They are not the needy and clingy ones you heard about. They don't remind you of your ex who was needy and clingy. You might even think you're being tricked. Are they man...
What To Do When Male Partner Has Many Female Followers
This is an episode recorded for my instagram Wednesday live. These are the questions I answered for my followers there👇👇👇My avoidant treats me like he’s a bf even we are not longer together for months. We have been on and...
Client Shares Healing His Anxious Attachment
Healing an anxious attachment isn't easy but it is possible. My client agreed to sit down and share his journey - what he went through as an anxious attached person, what he has learned and how he continues to grow and feel empowere...
What It's Like to be A Fearful Avoidant
My client decided to share what it's like for her to be a fearful avoidant attached person. We often think that only men are avoidant attached but what happens when it's a woman. Client S shares how she thinks and feels when she get...
How Secure Attached Breakup with Avoidant
Secure attached people don't beg or chase when an avoidant wants to breakup. They also know when to call it quits...and in this episode - that is what we are discussing. We will discuss...- a secure attached timeline to a dec...
What Avoidant Do During And After Breakups
They act like they are over you the moment you breakup and that is crushing. But is that what they really feel? There are lot of "experts" on what avoidant attached person feel during breakups. I have on average 70 avoidant attached...
What to Look For In The First 90 Days Of Dating
I wish someone had told me this when I first started dating. I made so many mistakes that landed me in some questionable relationships. The tips I share here has helped me choose a partner I enjoy life with. I'm breaking...
Long Distance Romance With Avoidant Attached
What happens when you've been in a long distance romance with an avoidant attached person and it feels intense even if you've just met a handful of times? You want answers...What is happening here? Can this be anything more?&...
How To Move On After Being Blindsided - Pre-recorded Session
What happens when you have been friends for what seems like forever - you lose each other and find each other and in your older years decide to date but then to be blindsided by the avoidants pull away???Sarah shares her journey through ...
Breaking the Protest-Withdrawal Cycle Between Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic
Social media will tell you that anxious-avoidant relationships are doomed. That avoidants are narcissists. That anxious people are just codependent. I'm here to tell you that's oversimplified BS that keeps people stuck.In this episode, I...
Why Boundaries Work For Short Periods With Avoidants And How To Sustain them. Pre-recorded Session
What happens when someone who is working on their attachment style meets with an avoidant attached style person who may not be working on their healing - they set boundaries. How does that work out? Listen to this podcast as Sarah explains the ...
How Our Attachment Style Affect Intimacy in Our Relationships
Our attachment style has a lot to do with how quickly we form relationships and it can tell just how quickly our relationship can fall apart. In this episode, we discuss what to look in our attachment triggers when we want to build ...
"My Ex Moved On Like I Never Existed." Let's talk about it...
You probably went through a breakup and was left wondering how your ex could appear like you never existed. This episode helps you to appreciate and understand what might be going on in the mind of your avoidant attached ex just after breakup -...
Avoidants Discard People When They Get Too Close
Let's unpack one of social media's most pervasive attachment theory takes: the idea that avoidants coldly "discard" people the moment intimacy develops. But what if this narrative is not only oversimplified - it's actively harmful? ...
"Why Was He Chasing Me, Then Suddenly Pulled Away?" - Pre-recorded Session
An avoidant shares her confusion at being heavily pursued by a man she didn't know, only to start appreciating the attention before he started to pull away. In this episode we discuss why avoidants are careful when entering new rela...
Healing and Understanding Avoidant Attachment
One of the most sought after answers in our time right now is how to manage a relationship with an Avoidant Attached person and, what is really going on in their minds. This episode helps an Avoidant Attached person understand thems...
FA Came In Strong and Started To Back- Peddle - Prerecorded Session
Many anxious and secure attached persons have dated avoidant attached persons who seemed really ready for a long term committed relationships until.... things got heavy. Many were left confused at their behaviours as some avoidant back-peddled,...
Your Partner Is Scared of Intimacy? Let’s start here!
Sometimes they are intimate with you but mots times, they are not. You're wondering - "Do they even like me?"Why are so many avoidant and anxious attached persons clashing when it comes to intimacy? This episode covers the beginning of a...
How To Hold Avoidants Accountable
Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, y...
Physical Intimacy After Breakup But They Still Work Together- Prerecorded Session
At first, he was open to communicating about their needs. He seemed keen on trying to be better. They were great together - both feeling safe to be vulnerable for the first time, then something changed. He started to feel pressured...
Why Holidays Are Overwhelming for Avoidants and What to Do
Ever feels like your avoidant partner never wants to do anything during the holidays? Avoidant attached persons can have a love/hate relationship with holidays and it had everything to do with their attachment styles. As...
Stuck in a Situationship? How Your Attachment Style Makes Breakups So Hard
She thought everything was fine. Then, he dropped a bombshell/ “I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore.”Trying to be understanding, she gave him an easy out. She said, “It's okay if we need to break up.”But he wouldn't take it....