Decoding Attachment Styles
I talk about the push and pull and the anxious spiral that so many of us have experienced in one or more relationships. I've had my share of these experiences and I learned to heal my anxious attachment.
On this podcast I share everything I know from text books, to observations and my personal research on the topic as I live and breathe it.
As a kid, I got into trouble for asking why questions. It was considered rude to question an adult but I always wanted the reasoning behind what was being asked or expected me, and how the world and the people in it worked. It's helped me over the decades pick up some interesting things about people with different attachment styles.
The first thing I noticed was - and this is how I imagined it - everyone got a script on how to be for their own survival. And there are four scripts - Anxious, Dismissive and Fearful avoidant, and the Secure attached.
There is a particular way they behave, interact, speak, solve problems, write a text, walk, sit, eat, gain success or never do...and when you see it you won't be able to unseen it.
I'm sharing everything I know and if you find this topic fascinating, or you just need to understand why your partner, parent, sibling, friend or whomever act in ways you just can't understand - welcome.
Episodes
99 episodes
What To Do When Partner Can't Give You What You Need
It is frustrating when a partner can't give you what you need especially after they promised or implied they could. We try to change them - or their mind. We hope they can change and become the person we thought they wer...
Why Avoidants Tell You What You Want to Hear
Are the manipulating you by telling you what you want to hear? It's a lot deeper than this and this episode breaks it down.
How to tell the Difference Between Anxiety and Anxious Attachment
Today I'm answering three questions I get asked constantly. And I picked these three on purpose, because they build on each other. The first one is the controversial one: can a fearful-avoidant actually have a successful relationship WITHOUT go...
What to Expect When Anxious and Fearful Avoidant Start to Heal
If you ever thought healing your attachment was impossible - here are two other people who were able to do it. Today I did something I never did before - I had a discussion with who I have witnessed working on healing their attachme...
What to Do When Avoidant Pull Away
It’s crushing when your avoidant partner disappears. But why are they doing it...and what can you do. On of the most disruptive things happening in avoidant- anxious relationships is when the avoidant partner suddenly disappears wit...
What To Look For When Dating An Anxious Attached
You may have been dating and anxious attached and they seem put together. They are not the needy and clingy ones you heard about. They don't remind you of your ex who was needy and clingy. You might even think you're being tricked. Are they man...
What To Do When Male Partner Has Many Female Followers
This is an episode recorded for my instagram Wednesday live. These are the questions I answered for my followers there👇👇👇My avoidant treats me like he’s a bf even we are not longer together for months. We have been on and...
Client Shares Healing His Anxious Attachment
Healing an anxious attachment isn't easy but it is possible. My client agreed to sit down and share his journey - what he went through as an anxious attached person, what he has learned and how he continues to grow and feel empowere...
What It's Like to be A Fearful Avoidant
My client decided to share what it's like for her to be a fearful avoidant attached person. We often think that only men are avoidant attached but what happens when it's a woman. Client S shares how she thinks and feels when she get...
How Secure Attached Breakup with Avoidant
Secure attached people don't beg or chase when an avoidant wants to breakup. They also know when to call it quits...and in this episode - that is what we are discussing. We will discuss...- a secure attached timeline to a dec...
What Avoidant Do During And After Breakups
They act like they are over you the moment you breakup and that is crushing. But is that what they really feel? There are lot of "experts" on what avoidant attached person feel during breakups. I have on average 70 avoidant attached...
What to Look For In The First 90 Days Of Dating
I wish someone had told me this when I first started dating. I made so many mistakes that landed me in some questionable relationships. The tips I share here has helped me choose a partner I enjoy life with. I'm breaking...
Long Distance Romance With Avoidant Attached
What happens when you've been in a long distance romance with an avoidant attached person and it feels intense even if you've just met a handful of times? You want answers...What is happening here? Can this be anything more?&...
How To Move On After Being Blindsided - Pre-recorded Session
What happens when you have been friends for what seems like forever - you lose each other and find each other and in your older years decide to date but then to be blindsided by the avoidants pull away???Sarah shares her journey through ...
Breaking the Protest-Withdrawal Cycle Between Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic
Social media will tell you that anxious-avoidant relationships are doomed. That avoidants are narcissists. That anxious people are just codependent. I'm here to tell you that's oversimplified BS that keeps people stuck.In this episode, I...
Why Boundaries Work For Short Periods With Avoidants And How To Sustain them. Pre-recorded Session
What happens when someone who is working on their attachment style meets with an avoidant attached style person who may not be working on their healing - they set boundaries. How does that work out? Listen to this podcast as Sarah explains the ...
"My Ex Moved On Like I Never Existed." Let's talk about it...
You probably went through a breakup and was left wondering how your ex could appear like you never existed. This episode helps you to appreciate and understand what might be going on in the mind of your avoidant attached ex just after breakup -...
Avoidants Discard People When They Get Too Close
Let's unpack one of social media's most pervasive attachment theory takes: the idea that avoidants coldly "discard" people the moment intimacy develops. But what if this narrative is not only oversimplified - it's actively harmful? ...
"Why Was He Chasing Me, Then Suddenly Pulled Away?" - Pre-recorded Session
An avoidant shares her confusion at being heavily pursued by a man she didn't know, only to start appreciating the attention before he started to pull away. In this episode we discuss why avoidants are careful when entering new rela...
Healing and Understanding Avoidant Attachment
One of the most sought after answers in our time right now is how to manage a relationship with an Avoidant Attached person and, what is really going on in their minds. This episode helps an Avoidant Attached person understand thems...
FA Came In Strong and Started To Back- Peddle - Prerecorded Session
Many anxious and secure attached persons have dated avoidant attached persons who seemed really ready for a long term committed relationships until.... things got heavy. Many were left confused at their behaviours as some avoidant back-peddled,...
How To Hold Avoidants Accountable
Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, y...
Physical Intimacy After Breakup But They Still Work Together- Prerecorded Session
At first, he was open to communicating about their needs. He seemed keen on trying to be better. They were great together - both feeling safe to be vulnerable for the first time, then something changed. He started to feel pressured...