Decoding Attachment Styles
I talk about the push and pull and the anxious spiral that so many of us have experienced in one or more relationships. I've had my share of these experiences and I learned to heal my anxious attachment.
On this podcast I share everything I know from text books, to observations and my personal research on the topic as I live and breathe it.
As a kid, I got into trouble for asking why questions. It was considered rude to question an adult but I always wanted the reasoning behind what was being asked or expected me, and how the world and the people in it worked. It's helped me over the decades pick up some interesting things about people with different attachment styles.
The first thing I noticed was - and this is how I imagined it - everyone got a script on how to be for their own survival. And there are four scripts - Anxious, Dismissive and Fearful avoidant, and the Secure attached.
There is a particular way they behave, interact, speak, solve problems, write a text, walk, sit, eat, gain success or never do...and when you see it you won't be able to unseen it.
I'm sharing everything I know and if you find this topic fascinating, or you just need to understand why your partner, parent, sibling, friend or whomever act in ways you just can't understand - welcome.
Decoding Attachment Styles
Stuck in a Situationship? How Your Attachment Style Makes Breakups So Hard
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She thought everything was fine. Then, he dropped a bombshell/ “I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore.”
Trying to be understanding, she gave him an easy out. She said, “It's okay if we need to break up.”
But he wouldn't take it. He was confused. He wanted to keep trying.
And just like that, they were trapped in a exhausting cycle of push-and-pull-a classic anxious-avoidant trap-until he finally ended it for good.
Now, she's left heartbroken and overthinking everything. She's asking all the classic questions:
- How do I get over a breakup when I still have feelings?
- What does it mean when he says he loves me but isn't in love with me?
- Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners?
- Is there any chance of getting back together?
If this story hits home, you're not alone. These painful patterns often point directly to our attachment styles.
In this recorded session, we sit down with Sarah to understand her anxious attachment style and how it showed up in her relationship. We'll break down-
- The hidden signs of an anxious attachment style.
- How fear of abandonment can accidentally sabotage your love life.
- Practical steps for healing a broken heart and creating secure attachment.
- How to stop the cycle of on-again, off-again relationships and learn how to move forward for good.